dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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