They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
