Plan B is the new Plan A
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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