I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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