I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
