weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
