just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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