i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize