My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
