I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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