Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
