A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
