I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
