He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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