Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
