I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
