dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
