All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
