I don't think brook has ever known best
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
