I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
