Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
