My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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