can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
