Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
