stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
