shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
