Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
