I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
