My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do vagina's smell?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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