I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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