Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
