I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
