so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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