I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
