I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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