But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
