a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
