omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
