and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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