i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
