it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
