shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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