hotel room ftw
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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