It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You are a genius and a whore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
