Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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