I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
