I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
