I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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