His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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