their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
