Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
