Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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