Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
